My new physical therapist is like Julia Childs: she’s a giant and a genius and I am her little omelet. I am the boeuf bourguignon that she is cooking from scratch. It’s working! After more than a year and half of not being able to sit without pain… wait, that’s a double negative…of being in pain every time I sit my ass down .. there that’s better... Julia did this little number on me where she watched me fold my hips and said “hmm… try this exercise.” She showed me how to lie on my stomach with my knees bent, ankles holding a ball up high. “Your right ankle is the backstop, holding the ball still, while your left ankle pushes toward the right and your left knee digs down into the table…” I know, it sounds like muscle joint soup. But it’s French onion soup, baby! The miracle that puts ordinary things together into something amazing. Because, it works! My hips points start staring straight ahead again and when I bent my hips to test drive it, voilá, le pain, she is gone!
It came back again pretty fast. But now I can see a light at the end of the crepe. Mais, bíen sûr! Le hope, she rises again!! (Too much? I should take off the beret, maybe?)
It’s tiny, tiny little muscle work, and maybe one or two big ones. For a year and a half I have been walking miles, doing constant yoga and leg lifts and bird-dogs and clams and humping dolphins and all kinds of other PT exercises and nothing nothing nothing has worked and the pain has been fucking up my work, my home life and made an utter history of my formerly glorious sex life. Now, Julia has me strengthening the little itty bitty baby core muscles, and nothing else until those can hold the center. This is a metaphor for how to live! And the muscles I’m building up are all around the center of my pelvis, aka the pleasure chakra. Oui, baby!
Plus, on a witchier note, in the beautiful ritual of self-blessing that I learned 20 years ago, this is the spot that you touch and say “for all acts of love and pleasure are your rituals.” That phrase is from the Charge of the Goddess, which I will not just link to, but include in total. I just reread it and remembered how gorgeous it is and how it names an approach to life and a set of values that make me proud to call myself a witch. Blessed be! And Vive la France!
Charge of the Goddess
Traditional by Doreen Valiente, as adapted by Starhawk
Listen to the words of the Great Mother, Who of old was called Artemis, Astarte, Dione, Melusine, Aphrodite, Cerridwen, Diana, Arionrhod, Brigid, and by many other names:
Whenever you have need of anything, once a month, and better it be when the moon is full, you shall assemble in some secret place and adore the spirit of Me Who is Queen of all the Wise.
You shall be free from slavery, and as a sign that you be free you shall be naked in your rites.
Sing, feast, dance, make music and love, all in My Presence, for Mine is the ecstasy of the spirit and Mine also is joy on earth.
For My law is love is unto all beings. Mine is the secret that opens the door of youth, and Mine is the cup of wine of life that is the cauldron of Cerridwen, that is the holy grail of immortality.
I give the knowledge of the spirit eternal, and beyond death I give peace and freedom and reunion with those that have gone before.
Nor do I demand aught of sacrifice, for behold, I am the Mother of all things and My love is poured out upon the earth.
Hear the words of the Star Goddess, the dust of Whose feet are the hosts of Heaven, whose body encircles the universe:
I Who am the beauty of the green earth and the white moon among the stars and the mysteries of the waters,
I call upon your soul to arise and come unto me.
For I am the soul of nature that gives life to the universe.
From Me all things proceed and unto Me they must return.
Let My worship be in the heart that rejoices, for behold, all acts of love and pleasure are My rituals.
Let there be beauty and strength, power and compassion, honor and humility, mirth and reverence within you.
And you who seek to know Me, know that the seeking and yearning will avail you not, unless you know the Mystery: for if that which you seek, you find not within yourself, you will never find it without.
For behold, I have been with you from the beginning, and I am That which is attained at the end of desire.