Motherhood: a shot, an orgasm, a nap

Today I took Forest for a shot. Man it sucked. I was like that about shots when I was his age. It took a fucking SWAT team to inject me. I injured people.

That's my boy.

After that, I dropped him off at school, came home and ate ice cream, had an orgasm and took a nap.

Sometimes I forget parenting is a hard job...I start to believe all those bullshit Vaseline lensed movies where the mothering floweth like wawa. This isn’t work! It’s maternal instinct. If you can’t just do it (thank you, Nike) and then handle an IPO/ make a soufflé, then there is something wrong with you.

You are an unnatural woman.

When these thoughts are my greek chorus, I get to the end of my day and I think “Why didn’t I get anything done?”

But I did! I protected my son from Hepatitis B.

That counts.