Yesterday I googled "how do I make my intuition stronger?" It was because of Vassalissa, and the idea that really, right now, listening to that inner voice might just be revolutionary enough to make a girl a hero, help her find fire and burn the bad guys to cindery bits.
You know what I got?
"Meditate." Over and over. What bullshit is this?
Okay, I mean I get how you can't hear your Inner Voice if your mind is full of monkeys. But that is actually the last thing I want to do: more sitting. Plus, I already do my version of meditation, walking to the Creek and chanting my mantra and standing on a log in the middle of the creek and grounding and the invoking the elements.
I did find this one though, which included doing a blind card draw and a red light/green light thing. In case you're wondering. But again, I'm already doing it. Did I mention that sometimes I find modesty challenging? Or at least, false modesty unnecessary? Sometimes (like Now) it's a case of doing what you already know how to do rather than learning something new.
This is what I know how to do to engage my intuition.: I consider a choice, this or that. I focus on one part: this. I ground and pay attention and then I consider that. And I pay attention to whether it feels tighter and more constricting, or bigger and more open.
So tonight, I took my intuition for a test drive at a bag sale. It was a benefit for a homeless family shelter called Mary's House, you gave them 30 bucks at the door and they gave you a bag which you could fill with as many clothes as possible, all from my favorite consignment store.
I arrived at 6:20, with 40 minutes of wine and hors d’oeuvres left. We were penned in with the food and drink by long ribbons of yellow caution! crime scene tape that separated us from the clothers. There were tables of tops and pants in S, M and L, there were purses and shoes and racks of dresses and coats. I love coats. Tonight, I wore a vintage 1960 white leather coat that I got at the Tucson Junior League garage sale for $12.
I’ve never been to this event before. I decided to try to find veterans and interview them about their strategies, so I started talking to strangers, which I can do. This is one of my gifts. (SO not modest tonight!) I found a woman named Julie who had been before. She said that her strategy was to find a buddy close to the same size as her and collect piles of rejects for each other… We looked at each other. We are both about 5’10”. She is an 8. I am a 12. (I have a generous ass.) But we decide to be buddies.
Cocktail hour was to end at seven. And then the crime scene tape would be removed and we could all rush towards the clothes. The deal is you can feel your bag with as many clothes as you can. Would there be scratches? Would there be stampede marks? But this is Seattle, and I heard many people saying “it's just close. Even though they had a glittering in their eyes as they said it. I felt a little bit of glittering in my heart, a little bit of sheer greed for the right thing. But then I decided this is where I would kick it with my intuition! Okay, it seems a little frivolous, but I believe in baby steps. And anyway it is for a good cause. And it's all about trying it out every day, isn't it?
So I walked the police tape line. And I turned on my intuition: I did a right or left thing like I was playing hot and cold with my intuition. Maybe I would find one good thing here and the tables and piles and racks of dresses and pants and coats and tops and purses and shoes. Maybe I would find one thing that was awesomely for me. Where was it?