So I found a space a little away from the crowd and grounded. Roots down, ark earth energy up. It's still dark energy these days. Maybe it will change at equinox, in that moment, I didn't know. I did know that I had 17 minutes until the rush. I breathed deep and reached out my awareness to the clothes, feeling, where is the one thing, the thing that is calling to me?
I knew before I started really, but in a spider silk kind of a way, not the steel cable pullI wanted. I felt it to the left, not among the large or medium tops and pants, nor the purses, nor the dress rack to the east. There… a heavy spot in the room, all the way on the south wall where rack of long dresses stood next to a table of small pants. I better be right because if the dresses didn't work I'd be far from anything that fit me.
Small pants indeed.
I walk the crime scene tape once more, just to be sure. Yep. Southern dress rack.
A couple minutes to go now. The room is changing I hear women saying, "it's only clothes." And I see women taking off their clothes coats, getting lean and fast. The ribbon is in front of me. Far to the right Megan is cutting it with scissors. But I am in front of the southern dress rack and apparently we are not waiting for the ribbon to fall… we are under it and moving fast. Four women are at the dress rack before me they're spread out, each has about 2 feet of rock in front of her. I scan the bottom and I see a black and white striped knit that is so long, it's almost hitting the floor. That's it. I know it. I dive straight in and grab the bottom and then shimmy my way up to the top. It's got spaghetti straps, a drop drawstring waist, a long line, and the stripes are in Chevron's all away down the front. I love it.
I reach up and pull it off the hanger and then start moving through the rest of the rack. I pull anything that seems possible for me or Julie. A watercolor full length silky dress and blues and cream and brown for me and an orange beaded one for Julie; it's short, she's got legs. Annette one for her, size 8. Navy sweater dress for me.how to the Boxee black silk, the magenta cocktail, the prairie style cream one. The rack is getting emptier every moment.
Julie is at my side. She has an orange Ann Taylor for me and two others I put back. Not my style. She takes the beaded orange I'm off to coats," I say, grinning. "Good luck!" She says. We are both a little breathless.
I wonder if this is what Clarissa Pinkola Estés means when she says that the way to strengthen my intuition is to listen to it? Did she mean bag sales? Edith says this is a trivial and superficial use of my powers, that I ought to be focused on something more substantive, heavier.
Even though asking the question "how can I serve now?" Is like a drumbeat through every day of my life. Never satisfied.
But these days my body is my best teacher and if there is one thing I've learned from my body, it's that small steps strengthen and big ones setback.
I look at the clock: 20 minutes have gone by, I would've said five. All around the warehouse women are beginning to stoop over their piles and undress, there is no modesty here we are down to bras and underwear.
Sometimes, I am afraid I am participating in the patriarchy by loving fashion. But no. I look around this room. Everywhere, the women of all sizes, backgrounds, they are gleaming with pleasure, praising each other, silky with satisfaction. It is true. We can choose between feed and breed, or fight and flight. We can invoke beauty and pleasure and it can be stronger than violence. These are tools of change. It should be no surprise that intuition has an accurate compass for beauty.
Btw: the bag sale benefitted Mary's House, a homeless shelter that helps women in a way that understands women. They keep families together. They give women new bras and underwear, as well as access to new skills. The woman who talked to us said that they take all kinds of donations, from clothes to soap. "If you use it in your house, we can probably use it in ours." They have locations in Seattle, if you are in the area and want to contribute. I know I will again.