Initiation by body. That's what's going on here. I have to be calm to do my PT. I have to slow down and have a strong core and be present with myself to make my tiny little right multifidus and left multifidus fire alternately 200 times. That's my new exercise. I can't do it. I did 68 yesterday, 37 so far today. But I did the Butt-Kicker and the Flying Butterfly, which both involve knitting while holding a washcloth between your toes and doing a beer bong at the same time.
That's what it feels like, anyway. It's all complicated in there and there are all these different parts to integrate and some parts that are not helpful, that are over performing and trying to do other people's jobs and then be all full of pain and matyr-y about it.
Just like my personality/spiritual core/inner self/soul.
Goddess I am so grateful that I am doing this. Or rather, I should say, "being this." It's so much more about being than doing.
Being still, being able to hear my soft parts and feed them homemade kale chips and kombucha. Get strong, little mutifidae! Here, have some vitamins and some probiotics and some attention and some time.